The Bastard!
by Snowy Mountain
Summary: My own take on Team 7 getting another Sensei in the beginning. This one is an original character. He's a manipulative blackmailer, a scoundrel, a real Bastard!
1. Konoha's Number One Bastard!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto. Really, I don't. Everything else belongs to me.

* * *

**The Bastard**

Chapter One:

_Konoha's Number One Bastard!_

_

* * *

_

~Yesterday~

**SLAM!**

Sarutobi scowled irritated as he looked up from his paperwork wondering just who would have the audacity to—he sighed as he recognized the masked ANBU dressed in a hooded cloak and a fierce dragon mask with two wickedly sharp horns reaching upward and a snarling mouth standing in the doorway.

_Of course. Who else would it be?_ he thought to himself rhetorically. No one else would simply burst into his private offices like that. Well, at least not without his secretary and the ANBU guards raising a fuss. He saw his personal ANBU guards cowering while his secretary had flattened herself against the wall and pretending to be an ornamental statue at the appearance of said intruder.

The Third Hokage set down his brush and interlaced his fingers together, "Most people think it's polite to knock before entering someone's private rooms Dragon," he remarked dryly.

The masked ANBU cocked his head looking confused, "But if I did that, my chances of catching you with some blackmail worthy material goes way down."

Sarutobi rolled his eyes and wondered once again why had he retaken his old job. And what the Hell had he been thinking when he appointed this man to the ANBU. While it was a good idea for a Ninja to be aware of their surroundings and their associates for potential strengths and weaknesses, Dragon took it to an extreme level by using this information primarily for his own benefit.

Basically by blackmailing people.

Sarutobi sighed feeling weary, as he always did when dealing with this man or 'The Bastard' as most of Konoha referred to him. Usually when they were feeling charitable.

Most of the time, they called him a lot worse.

* * *

~Today~

Iruka Umino tried to look seriously stern but he couldn't help a pleased smile bursting forth from his face as he gazed among the newest group of assembled graduates.

"Beginning today, you all are all ninjas," he announced full of pride. His eyes travelled up and down the rows as he saw them proudly straighten at his words. Well, almost all of them. He winced as he saw the beaten and bruised body of Uzumaki Naruto, his upper body lying sprawled over the desktop. He idly wondered just what Naruto had done this time to warrant such treatment. Then he quickly put it out of his mind and continued with his prepared speech.

"But you are only Genins. The lowest of the low and your tests and trials are only beginning. Now," he cleared his throat and picked up a clipboard with several sheets of papers, "you will be separated into 3 man cells. These cells will be led by a Jounin Ninja. In these cells, you will be assigned specific missions and tasks and commissions on behalf of Konohagakure…"

Naruto Uzumaki winced as his body protested moving. He managed to prop himself up to listen at the announcements. _Hmmm, who would be on my team…_ he wondered idly as he glanced around the crowded room. His eye settled momentarily on the raven haired Uchiha and scowled. _Anyone as long as it's not him!_

Sakura Haruno blushed and clasped her hands together, hoping that she would be assigned with Sasuke. _It would be like, Fate declaring that they were destined to be a couple!_

Sasuke Uchiha's scowl deepened. _A three man cell is two people too many,_ he thought darkly. _The other two weaklings would only slow me down. Hopefully, my Jounin Instructor wasn't some incompetent lazy bastard…_

Sasuke would find out later that although it was only one out of three, he would deeply regret the last one.

A lot.

* * *

"You want me to WHAT!" Dragon exploded. He briefly fantasized of killing the old goat. It was a wonderful thought but highly impractical. Assassinating the acting Hokage was bound to have a few repercussions. Such as having the entire village after his cute little ass. And although he could quite probably take the entire village, he had better things to do with his time.

So, killing the senile putz was out. This time.

"I'd like you to become a Jounin Instructor for a 3 man Genin Cell." Sandaime repeated, hiding a smirk on his face, clearly unaware just how close to death he had come.

"Have you lost what little marbles you had you old geezer! I hate kids!"

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, "Considering your age, I think even I would be a kid compared to you," he said dryly.

Once more, Dragon cocked his head confused, "What's your point? Like I said, I hate kids."

Sarutobi sweatdropped. _By that definition, you pretty much hate everyone,_ Inner Sarutobi muttered. Not that he should be too surprised. Only the fact was that Naruto Uzumaki contained the Nine Tailed Fox managed to elevate the blonde boy as the most hated person in Konoha over the Dragon. Who happened to be number two despite his best efforts to surpass Naruto.

"Whatever," the Dragon growled as he rubbed the slightly pointed chin of his mask thoughtfully. _Hmmm, well it shouldn't be that hard to—_

Sarutobi narrowed his eyes as he caught onto the direction of the Dragon's thoughts. "And you will not deliberately try to cause the deaths of your charges!" he snapped leveling an accusing finger at the masked ANBU.

The Dragon let out a sharp, "Tch!" and snapped his fingers in disgust. _Doddering old monkey. He knows me too damn well,_ he bitterly realized. "Fine …" Dragon grumbled realizing that he wasn't going to get out of this. "But," his finger flicked upward, "I get to choose my team."

Sarutobi paused and puffed his pipe, studying the ANBU for a long moment. "Very well," he said and rummaged around his desk for a moment before he produced a scroll. "The Genin Cell Roster."

* * *

"Hey, Iruka Sensei? Just who is our Jounin Mentor anyways?" Naruto asked.

"Hmm … I don't know actually. Let me see, I think the Sandaime said he just had him assigned last night and … OH SHIT! NOT HIM!" Iruka's voice hit a high pitch and his eyes bulged as he read the name.

Iruka's reaction was such that it even attracted Sasuke's attention.

"Uh … you … uh … have n-nothing to worry about…" Iruka gave them an incredibly sickly and patently false grin.

Sakura sweat dropped as even she could tell that Iruka was lying through his teeth.

"A-heh-heh," Iruka chuckled and swallowed before continuing, "You three are … are incredibly … blessed," Iruka looked like he had just swallowed something incredibly sour, "to have an extremely experienced veteran shinobi as your personal instructor, one of the very best in the village."

Sasuke smiled slightly at Iruka's comment, preening at this prestigious honor.

"I uh … think I should warn you though … he is uh … he is a bit … eccentric," Iruka said lamely feeling obligated to warn his former students and trying not to feel like he was pitching them headfirst into a shark infested ocean while coated with blood.

* * *

He plucked the scroll out of Sarutobi's outstretched hand and quickly unrolled it and his eyes began running down the list of grouped candidates. He snorted as he quickly sorted through the names. As expected, all of them were losers—he stopped and re-examined the seventh group. A no-name kunoichi, the last of the Uchihas, and the Jiinchuriki. Interesting. _Much more interesting than the others,_ he decided. _This might not be so bad after all,_ he decided as he rolled the cell roster closed. "I'll take Team 7," he said and threw the scroll at the Hokage who caught it.

Sarutobi frowned and coughed, "Er … well, actually Team 7 already has been assigned to Hatake Kakashi—"

"Oh he is, is he?" Dragon inquired lightly.

Elsewhere, Kakashi suddenly felt an impending feeling of doom. He gave a quick survey of his surroundings and then shrugged before returning back to Icha Icha Paradise. He giggled as he flipped the page and continued reading.

* * *

"THREE FREAKING HOURS!" Ino Yamanaka shrieked.

Shikamaru winced and tried to bury himself deeper into the wood of the desk. He had managed to get a little nap in but the screeching of the harpy beside him had finally woken him up. _And probably anyone within a quarter-mile of her,_ part of his mind remarked sarcastically. _This is already starting to look troublesome,_ he mused to himself. Beside him, Choji tore open another bag of chips and began munching.

Sasuke twitched and fought the urge to glare at the blonde fangirl. He quickly realized after the first hour of glaring at her that Ino apparently enjoyed him looking at her and somehow translated that he was attracted to her. He quickly decided that he was better off ignoring her and brooding on tardy instructors. _One Fireball jutsu, that's all I ask, _he thought to himself darkly.

Naruto cackled as he carefully set about his masterful trap. _This would be great,_ he thought to himself as he wedged the eraser.

Sakura sighed and wondered just where was their Jounin Sensei. One of them, she might understand being tardy but two?

Suddenly there was the familiar creak of the loose floorboard outside of the classroom and the door began to slide open.

* * *

"Well, I don't know Dragon," Kakashi said scratching his head. "The Council wanted me to train the Uchiha and I personally requested that Naruto be assigned to me. If you want I suppose I could transfer the girl—"

"I'll be taking all of them Damn Cyclops," Dragon interrupted.

Kakashi sweated and nervously tugged at the collar of his flak jacket, "Look, I have my orders and—"

Dragon reached into his cloak and extracted an orange book. A familiar orange book. Kakashi blinked and his hand immediately dropped to his belt pouch instinctively. He began rummaging in it and horrified, realized that his precious book was missing even as the Dragon pulled out a cigarette lighter and snapped the wheel and held the flame to the paper which began smoking.

Kakashi's singular eye widened. "OK! OK! Take them! They're yours!" he shrieked.

Instantly, Dragon flicked the flame off and repocketed the lighter. "Was that so difficult?" he asked as he threw the book at Kakashi who clutched it protectively.

"There, there baby," he crooned.

"Pathetic," Dragon snorted and turned away.

* * *

The masked ninja with silver hair now dusted with chalk surveyed the group with his single eye. He looked at each of them, assessing them, cataloguing them. Shikamaru noticed that the ninja seemed to linger momentarily at Sasuke and then surprisingly on the chortling Naruto the longest. Then his eye closed and his features changed into what Shikamaru assumed was a smile beneath his mask. "My first impression of you guys is … I hate you."

He slid the door shut behind him and strolled to the chalkboard and replaced the eraser. "Team 10. You're with me."

"It's about time!"

"No!"

Ino and Naruto exploded more or less simultaneously. Naruto continued, stamping his foot, "Then where the Hell is our Jounin Sensei?!"

The masked ninja straightened and smacked his palm with his other fist. "Oh yeah. Your Team 7 right?" he asked and at their nods he continued, "Your Jounin Sensei asked me to drop off a message for you…"

Team 7 all instinctively leaned forward. "… but I forgot it," Kakashi finished.

Both Sakura and Naruto face faulted while Sasuke's eye twitched.

Kakashi laughed and scratched the back of his head, "My bad."

* * *

"Don't worry too much Damn Cyclops, you'll get another team to torment," Dragon sneered. "In the meantime, while you're there, you can drop off a message for me…"

Kakashi looked up from cradling his precious reading material. _What am I your personal messenger?_

As if sensing Kakashi's silent traitorous thought, Dragon's head turned to him and tilted slightly. "That's not a problem for you … **IS IT?**" he growled.

Kakashi took a step backwards and defensively shielded his book. "No! No! Not at all! Happy to!" he said hastily_. You Bastard,_ he quietly, very quietly thought to himself.

"Didn't think so," Dragon said chuckling demonically to himself.

* * *

**A/N:** Another story idea I happened to come up with. I've read a few stories where Team 7 gets another Jounin Sensei instead of Kakashi and I liked the idea but thought that all of the good ones had already been taken. So I decided to invent my own.

Dragon is my own creation although I will admit that I took quite a bit of his personality from Nabiki Tendo from _Ranma ½_ and Yoichi Hiruma from _Eyeshield 21_. Normally, I don't go too much for sports manga but Riichiro Inagaki and Yusuke Murata created a series that I immediately got hooked on. Go out and read it. It's a pretty funny series. You don't have to know anything about football, the series is pretty good about explaining the basics. Hiruma happens to be my favorite character in the series. In case you hadn't guessed.

I do like Kakashi though and didn't want to get rid of him entirely so I decided to stick him as Team 10's Jounin. I don't think I've seen any stories where he's stuck with that team.


	2. Looking for a Bastard!

Once Team 10 and their tardy Jounin Sensei left the classroom, Naruto turned to his teammates and asked plaintively, "So now what do we do now?"

"How should I know idiot?" Sakura barked as she smacked him on the back of the head.

Sasuke abruptly stood up and stalked over to the entrance. The remaining members of Team 7 swung around to look at him. "Where are you going?" Naruto asked.

"Obviously," he said coldly as he slid open the door, "I'm going to find our Sensei," and shut it firmly behind him.

Sakura shot up to her feet. "Wait for us Sasuke!" she called out.

Naruto folded his arms across his chest. "Don't worry, he'll be back," he informed her confidently.

Sakura blink blinked at Naruto. "What makes you so sure?"

A split second later, the door slid open again and scowling and red faced Sasuke stepped back through.

"Well for one thing, we have absolutely no idea who our Sensei is," Naruto informed her blandly.

_Oh yeah,_ Sakura realized. Inner Sakura slapped her palm on her face.

* * *

**The Bastard**

Chapter Two:

_Looking for a Bastard!_

_

* * *

_

Team 7 decided that the silver haired Jounin might be late and a flake but they didn't exactly have a lot of other options. So they quickly trooped up to the roof where they found Team 10 had already been dismissed and the silver haired Jounin glanced at them in curiosity. "Oh, you're still here?" the masked Jounin asked as he lazily flipped a page from his favorite book.

"Well we don't know what to do!" Naruto exploded.

The Jounin carelessly shrugged. "So? Is that my fault?"

Sasuke started chuckling. As the other two looked at him, he smirked. "This is a test isn't it? We're suppose to find our Jounin Sensei, not the other way around."

The silver haired Jounin leaned back against the railing and gave a chuckle as he snapped the book shut and tucked it in his belt pouch. "Well, well, it looks like one of you seems to have caught on. You're not babies after all. We don't have time to constantly be holding your hands, guiding your steps and watching out for you. Someone who can only blindly follow orders without thinking things through is a great samurai. But a very poor ninja. You have to be able to think for yourself and figure things out for yourself in the absence of given instructions or sometimes even know when you have to break your orders. Remember, you always have to look underneath what obvious … and you might be able to discern the truth."

With that last bit of advice, he gave them a jaunty wave and made a hand seal, vanishing in a swirl of leaves.

"This is stupid!" Naruto ranted. "Why do we have to go out and find our own stupid Sensei?!"

Sakura whapped him on the back of the head, "Sasuke is right!"

Sasuke gave a brief hnn as if to say, '_Was there any doubt?'_

"Think of it as an information gathering mission!" Sakura continued, "We need some information and so we need to figure out who knows it and how to get it from them!"

Naruto scrunched up his face in deep thought. Then he nodded, smacking his fist against his palm, "Got it! We break into the Hokage Tower and force the Old Man to tell it to us—"

Sakura gave him another smack to the back of the head.

Naruto rubbed it and looked at her. "No good?" he asked blankly.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and deadpanned, "You want to break into the most heavily guarded, the most watched, and most fortified location in the entire Village so you can attack the Hokage. Who just happens to be the most powerful ninja in the entire Village."

"Wasn't that hard the last time …" Naruto grumbled.

"Don't be stupid Naruto! Besides we already know someone who knows who our Jounin Sensei is!" Sakura said triumphantly.

"We do?" Naruto and Sasuke both said simultaneously before looking at each other blankly.

* * *

"—which is why I will be the one in charge," Ino proclaimed loftily as she turned to gaze benevolently at her new subordinates. And promptly scowled. Chouji apparently was busy inhaling in his chips. Shikamaru on the other hand was snoring.

She started to turn red. "HEY! PAY ATTENTION! YOUR LEADER IS TALKING HERE!" she screamed.

Shikamaru twitched and pried open an eyelid to see a seething Ino. He sighed and scratched his head while wondering if anyone was having a troublesome time as well or if it was just him.

"Jounin Ryuunosuke Nanashi," Iruka replied evenly looking at them with some confusion.

Naruto's jaw unhinged itself as he stared at Iruka in shock. _It was so easy! _

Sakura smiled and clasped her hands together. "Oh thank you Iruka Sensei! I don't suppose you happen to know what his address is?"

Iruka shrugged. "I should have it somewhere. It's required that all Jounin Sensei's submit a copy of their information for the Academy Records," he muttered and began opening and closing his desk drawers. "Ah! Here we are!" he said and pulled out several scrolls and began studying the labels. He picked the appropriate one and unrolled it.

"Now let's see … Nanashi, Ryuunosuke. This information is classified," Iruka read aloud. He stared dumbly at the scroll before unrolling it further. "You don't need to know that. Or this either," he said in a tone of disbelief as he read the contents aloud. He began unrolling more and more and read off, "That's a secret. I could tell you this information, but then I'd have to kill you. And this scroll will self-destruct in 5 seconds."

Iruka blinked once more at that and opened his mouth to say something when the scroll began hissing like a snake and smoke began pouring from the paper. Naruto instantly dived to the floor, proving that he might be an idiot but there was nothing wrong with his reflexes. He reached up and grabbed Sasuke and Sakura and dragged them down as well.

**BA-THOOM!**

* * *

"What was that?" Kiba blinked and cocked his ear thoughtfully.

"W-what was what?" Hinata asked timidly as she tapped her index fingers together nervously.

Kiba shrugged, "Thought I heard an explosion," he explained even as his nin dog Akamaru swung his head back and forth before giving a few short barks and then a yip. Kiba nodded and scratched his dog's head affectionately, "Nowhere near us though according to Akamaru," he reported.

"It probably does not concerns us then," Shino replied evenly. "We should return to the business at hand, discussing our strategies for Kurenai Sensei's Genin Assessment tomorrow."

Kiba grinned cockily, "No problem Bug Boy," he laughed as he jerked a thumb at his chest, "with me and Akamaru on your side, we can't lose!"

Shino felt his brows deepen as he studied his fellow teammates. A nervous and timid kunoichi and an overly confident boisterous ninja. And him. Although there was a basic underlying logic to the assembly of their structured team, he couldn't help but feel a sense of wrongness to it as well.

Their abilities aside, he wondered if anyone had actually bothered to study their psychological and personality profiles to see if they complemented each other. Still, he would have to adapt to this situation as best he could. The Aburames had long ago realized that they would have to in order to deal with their fellow ninjas. Although many admitted that it was difficult at times.

Despite his best efforts however, he couldn't help but feel some nagging doubts. It was such a pity that other ninja clans did not believe in the purity of logic. They tended to be highly emotional and somewhat irrational, driven by their base biology and hormones. He was sure that things would be so much easier and simpler if they did. They wasted so much effort and time like this…

* * *

"Well that was a complete waste of time…" Sasuke grumbled as he stalked down the street with his hands jammed in his pockets.

"Who knew that our Jounin Sensei booby trapped his own records? Who does that sort of thing!" Sakura demanded.

Sasuke began frowning at Sakura's innocent statement. It suddenly occurred to him that just having one's personal information laying around where anyone at their slightest whim could pick it up and find out didn't strike him as the greatest idea in the world.

"I sure hope Iruka Sensei's eyebrows grow back. He looks awful weird like that…" Naruto mused, "I mean anyone without any eyebrows looks awful weird…"

Elsewhere, Momichi Zanbuza sneezed. It would have been better if he hadn't been wearing his face mask of bandages. He looked around and wondered why he suddenly felt like killing somebody.

Sasuke meanwhile was thinking. Ryu Nanashi might be paranoid—but just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that somebody isn't out to get you. To be frank, paranoia was probably one of the greatest survival tools for a ninja. _Just thinking about the potential security risk about having anyone pick up your personal information was— _Sasuke cocked his head and scowled. _Did that mean that there were records on HIM as well? _

That was a disturbing thought. Sasuke was by nature a private person. And to have anyone look up things about his private life at their slightest whim bothered him. A lot.

He suddenly wondered how difficult it would be to find his personal records and if not destroy them, then at least booby trap them. _Hmm, maybe I should ask our new Sensei. Once we find him that is…_

"So I guess we're on for Operation: Tower Break In?" Naruto asked brightly.

Sakura and Sasuke's hands came up and simultaneously whapped him on the back of the head.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head wincing, "That's a no right?"

"Well, we do know our Jounin Sensei's name at least," Sakura said trying to be positive.

"Yeah and that's all we know," Sasuke retorted.

"Where the hell could this jerk be anyways?" Naruto whined.

* * *

_Closer than you think,_ Ryuunosuke Nanashi aka Dragon thought to himself as he shook his head in disgust. He was standing on a rootftop not too far away from Team 7 and their voices were clearly audible even from street level.

He didn't even have to use a Wind Jutsu to carry their voices to him. So far he wasn't too impressed with his charges. _Not much on brains,_ he decided, _and their situational awareness sucked_._ Not to mention they never heard of operational security._ He checked the time and shrugged. The little shits were under a deadline, even if they didn't know it and if they didn't get a move on, he'd simply fail their worthless asses.

"Hee hee hee…" he cackled to himself as he continued to watch. Nearby, several people shivered as if feeling the presence of something evil.

* * *

"I mean what are we going to do? Just go around town asking anyone if they know Jounin Ryuunosuke Nanashi?" Naruto loudly demanded.

"AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

All three of them jumped at the scream. They whirled to see several civilians within earshot had stopped dead in their tracks and were staring at the trio in horror and terror stricken faces. Before their eyes, one woman turned absolutely white and fainted.

"They said his name!" one man shrieked pointing at them as the entire crowd recoiled from them like they were lepers.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Within seconds, the entire street was suddenly deserted. After a moment, Naruto looked at his companions and summed up his keen and marvelous insight into the situation, "Maybe it's just me but I'm starting to get a really bad feeling about this."

For once, Sasuke and Sakura were in total agreement with him as they wondered just what kind of person their new Sensei was.

* * *

Sakura frowned, "We need a plan…"

Sasuke snorted and pulled out a kunai and checked the sharp edge. He smiled grimly, "Simple. We grab one of the civilians and force them to tell us—"

"We can't do that!" Sakura blurted out horrified.

"What you didn't take the Capture and Interrogation Class?" Sasuke asked blankly. "I thought that was a graduation requirement—"

"I mean that's illegal!" Sakura protested. _Immoral too. I mean, interrogating a hostile ninja is one thing but not our own people!_

Sasuke scowled and replaced his kunai in his equipment pouch. "Well then what are we suppose to do? Knock on every single door in the Village and ask if Jounin Nanashi is home?" he demanded sarcastically.

"Maybe we should try to ask another Jounin!" Sakura suggested brightly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes._ Oh yeah, like the last one was a real help. Naruto's Operation: Tower Break In is starting to look better all the—wait a minute._ He looked left. Then he looked right. "Hey. Where is Naruto?" he asked, not sighting his blonde teammate around.

Sakura blink blinked and glanced around herself to confirm Naruto's absence. _He was just here a second ago!_

Inner Sakura screamed, _How the Hell did you miss that idiot disappearing with that orange monstrosity he wears?_

_

* * *

_

"Thanks Ayame-chan!" Naruto said as he pulled his chopsticks apart and prepared to dig into his ramen when he received a smack on the back of the head that was getting to feel rather familiar.

"Naruto!" Sakura barked, her hands on her hips and glaring at him in righteous anger, "What are you doing you idiot?!"

Naruto shrugged, "Well I didn't get a chance to eat lunch today and I was hungry…"

Sakura slapped her face with her palm in disgust.

"I'll take one with pork," Sasuke informed Ayame as he settled onto a stool nearby.

Sakura whipped her head around, "SASUKE!" she screamed.

Sasuke gave a half hearted shrug, "I think better when I'm not hungry," he informed her, "and I didn't get a chance to eat lunch either."

Sakura buried her face in her hands. Then she groaned and slid onto a stool in the middle of the two. "I give up. I'll take one too," and rested her forehead on the counter exhausted.

Naruto slurped some noodles and glanced at Sasuke and mouthed, "Should we do something?" as he nodded at Sakura.

Sasuke snorted and turned away, intent on his just delivered meal.

_Jerk._ Naruto scowled and awkwardly patted Sakura on the back. He said a bit lamely, "There, there. It's alright."

"No it's not alright!" Sakura snarled, her head snapping up to glare at him. "This is a stupid test! If we don't pass it, we fail and we'll probably be kicked out as ninjas!"

Konohagakure might be more liberal than the other Hidden Villages but they didn't look any more kindly on failure than the others.

Naruto recoiled. "WHAT!"

"You didn't guess idiot?" Sasuke inquired calmly as he swallowed a mouthful of noodles.

Naruto lunged to his feet. "We have to find our Jounin Sensei!" he yelled. Both Sakura and Sasuke looked to him. "I didn't become a ninja just to get kicked out!" he shook his fist in the air, "How else can I become the Hokage?"

Then he sat back down, "Right after I finish my ramen!" and began devouring it.

Sakura face faulted and Sasuke twitched. _Idiot,_ they both thought.

* * *

Ayame placed Sakura's order in front of her before turning to Ichiraku's Number One Customer and beamed. "So you're a Genin now Naruto? Congratulations!"

Naruto puffed up grinning. "Of course I am!" he reached up and buffed up his forehead protector and smiled, posing.

Ayame giggled. Then added, "So who is your Jounin Sensei?"

"Ryuunosuke Nanashi."

"HIM?!" Ayame twitched violently at that information. She leaned forward onto the counter and urged, "Naruto! You should stay away from him! He's the worst, most barbaric, and totally evil Jounin in the entire Village!"

"Really?" Naruto said wide eyed.

Ayame nodded frantically.

Naruto frowned and looked down. "But … but he's my Jounin Sensei Ayame-chan! How can I become the Hokage if I'm not a ninja?"

Ayame bit her lip. "I … oh Naruto…" she whispered.

"Wait! Does that mean you know where Ryuunosuke Nanashi lives Miss Ayame?" Sakura blurted out hopefully.

Ayame wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Absolutely not!" she stated firmly. Then sighed, "But … but I do know someone who does," she said reluctantly.

* * *

Naruto stared at the dilapidated and ramshackle apartment building. "You've got to be kidding," he said sweat dropping. He had thought that the route that Sasuke had been leading them on was pretty familiar.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked glancing over her shoulder.

"Uh … well … this is my apartment building," Naruto informed her. "I live on the second floor."

Sasuke snorted as he consulted the scrawled map that Ayame had drawn for them and banged on the door on the apartment on the first floor. There was some shuffling from inside the apartment and then the rattling of locks before the door swung wide and the largest, widest man Sasuke had ever seen peered out. Instinctively, Sasuke took a step back.

He gave them a tentative smile, "Hello! Can I help you?"

Sakura hesitantly asked, "Umm … are you Riichiro Kurita?"

"Yes! Come in! Come in! Make yourself at home!" the giant said waving his hand expansively as he waddled back into his apartment. "I hardly ever get any visitors!"

Kurita hurried around, fussing and clearing off the chairs of clutter. "Sit down! Sit down!" he said and quickly produced a pot, "I just made some tea, would you like some?" Kurita asked, producing a set of cups and began pouring without waiting for their response. He settled himself down and beamed at them as he dumped a fistful of sugar cubes into his teacup. "Sugar?" he asked.

_I think I'm starting to understand why he's so large_, Sakura thought to herself.

* * *

"You WANT to meet Nanashi?" Kurita blurted out staring at them in shock, leaning onto the table which groaned ominously at his weight. At their nods, he settled back in his seat. "Wow … I think you must be the first to ever want to meet him. Most people seem to go out of their way to avoid him…" he scratched his head and shrugged, laughing.

Sasuke merely raised an eyebrow as he sipped his tea.

"Oh he's our new Jounin Sensei!" Naruto explained grinning.

"Oh well, that makes sense—" Kurita did a doubletake, "A Jounin Sensei?!" he blurted out wide eyed. "They made Nanashi a Jounin Sensei?"

"Yeah … why does everyone seem so surprised about that?" Naruto inquired.

"Oh well—er …" Kurita fumbled for his tea cup, "… it's just a surprise that's all!" he said smiling weakly. "Well, I can take you to his place, just let me get my things," he stood up and trooped over to a door.

Had the trio bothered to keep an eye on Kurita they would have seen his start of surprise when he opened the door.

* * *

Kurita barely had time to react as the masked ANBU's hand came flying up to slap against his mouth, stopping his exclamation of surprise.

The ninja jerked them back into the room and slid the door shut with a whisper. "Hey there Damn Fatty," the ANBU said in a bored tone of voice as he removed his hands and cast a quick hand seal for a sound silencing zone for privacy.

"Nanashi!" Kurita exclaimed in surprise. "What good timing! I was just about to come see you!" he said grinning.

Nanashi snorted.

"Your Genin Team is right in my living room!" Kurita finished jerking a thumb in the direction of the room in question in case Nanashi had forgotten where it was.

Nanashi grunted, "I know."

"You do?" Kurita said blankly and then he smacked his fist in his palm. "Oh! This isn't a coincidence is it?" he realized.

"Oh course it isn't," Nanashi sneered. "You were going to take them to my place weren't you?" he growled.

"Oh! Well! Er—maybe?" Kurita admitted, tapping his two index fingers together nervously.

"DAMN FATTY!" Nanashi roared and slugged him.

Kurita slammed into the wall and rubbed his middle. "Ow."

"I've told you a million times! Never! Ever! Bring anyone to my place!" Nanashi growled as he stretched Kurita's face into interesting shapes.

"I'm sworry! I'm sworry! Weally!" Kurita squeaked out.

Nanashi held Kurita's face in a stretched out pose for another minute before releasing it.

Kurita sighed in relief.

"I want you to bring them to Training Ground 4."

Kurita jerked backwards. "Not Training Ground 4!"

"Oh, I'm sorry …" Nanashi said in a sweet voice, before he practically teleported into Kurita's face, **"DID YOU THINK THAT WAS A REQUEST?!"** he roared, his eyes glowing as they bored into Kurita's.

"Training Ground 4! Got it!" Kurita yelped.

"Good. Oh and don't tell them that what the place is either. Hee hee hee…" Nanashi giggled as he rubbed his hands together.

Kurita sweat dropped.

* * *

Kurita smiled weakly at the trio. "Well, uh … here it is," he said waving his arm in the direction of the three-story warehouse building.

"Nanashi Sensei lives here?" Sakura asked studying the outside frowning. It certainly didn't look like a residence.

Kurita sweated and stammered, "Uh … well, uh … yes?"

Sasuke frowned slightly at the pudgy man's nervousness. Something was wrong.

Naruto meanwhile strode boldly to the front door and banged the door with his fist a couple of times. "HEY! NANASHI SENSEI!" he yelled. "YOU THERE?!"

Sakura scowled. "Naruto! Don't scream like that!" she chided him. Sasuke sighed as he followed his teammates onto the rather large doorstep. He glanced upward and noticed that there was a number painted above the door. It was the symbol for 4. But … no one wrote the number with that particular character. It was considered bad luck. After all, when you wrote the kanji like that, it also stood for … Death.

Then the entire doorstep dropped out from beneath them. They didn't even have time to scream as they plummeted into darkness. Less than a second later, a replacement step snapped into place.

Kurita gulped and sighed. "Sorry 'bout this," he apologized.

* * *

Sasuke cursed as his fingers instinctively scrabbled for a seam or traction as they slid down the chute. _Damn it! He knew something was wrong! He knew it! And he had just walked right into it!_ Then they were out of the tunnel and falling into open air. He barely had time to flip and land on his feet and whip out a kunai from his equipment pouch. Sakura landed awkwardly but managed to tuck and roll. Which was better than Naruto who landed face first before sinking into a heap on the concrete flooring.

Sasuke panted, trying to get his breath back when several intense, blinding floodlights snapped on. He whipped up his arm and peered at the lights, seeing a figure seated a few feet away and chuckling, "Hee hee hee. Welcome Team 7. Welcome to Hell House. Now the **Real Test** begins…"

* * *

**A/N: **I disliked how just about every author who writes in a replacement teacher for Team 7 uses the same Bell Test that Kakashi used. I liked Kakashi's whole concept of teamwork which he emphasized with the two bells and three students but I felt that in writing your own stuff, it's not to just repeat the author, otherwise you're just paraphrasing the original. It's not very imaginative to just repeat things. I also want to applaud every author who tries to come up with something different.

Ryu Nanashi's version of the Genin Test seems to be a lot more realistic. At least to me. He's forcing them to work on an intelligence mission; mainly finding him and to do that they had to do some investigating, interrogating, and even tracking.

In addition, they're also learning each other's strengths and weaknesses. Sasuke is very smart and strong but he's also tends to be a bit too focused, thus he can miss the obvious. Sakura has a lot more common sense and can see things that most others would miss. Naruto is an idiot but sometimes you need an idiot to do the unexpected. He doesn't think conventionally and that can be a priceless asset at times. If you think about it, his suggestion that they break into the Hokage Tower and interrogate Sarutobi isn't that bad. I mean, he's already proven that he can do that and Sarutobi would probably tell him if he asked. As time goes on, I think I'll have Sasuke and Sakura begin to realize that.

Riichiro Kurita is based on an Eyeshield 21 character, Ryokan Kurita and much of his appearance and personality is in fact based on the character. Riichiro is a nod to Riichiro Inagaki who is the writer to the Eyeshield 21 manga.

Oh and in case anyone is wondering, Ryuunosuke is a Japanese name that means Dragon and his last name Nanashi is Nameless. So technically, his name would be 'Nameless Dragon'.


End file.
